I give up.

I tried left and right to try to install an email server so I could degoogle my life.

But therechnical barrier is thick and Google keeps adding more to it. Forget it. I can’t even get thru the installation process much less trying to get my shit off Google.

I figure, I don’t actually have any need for my email addresses. Just like my phone number. I never call anyone. I’m going to discourage my kids from using email at all. I’ll remind everyone I know that I don’t use email at every opportunity I get just like I remind people to not call me and that my phone number is not available.

Between spammers and Google, I just don’t need this headache in my life. My mom is much less technically savvy than the average pet. So Google will just siphon her data and when the megabits are full then you just delete the old stuff.

You don’t need it. No one will spend their life reading your emails when you’re gone or watching your videos or listening to your recordings or viewing your photos. There’s no need to worry about just deleting the pile of shit you’ve accumulated. I’m this done.

  • irmadlad@lemmy.world
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    32 minutes ago

    I rage guit my email server long ago. True, as evidenced in this thread, there are some who successfully run their own email server and that’s awesome. I am quite jealous. I too gave up, but I went with a small EU based company. It’s no frills, just the basics. I don’t send/receive a lot of email, so I don’t need all the bells and whistles. If you’re de-googling your life, you don’t have to specifically run your own email service. I do hear a lot of positives about MailCow tho.

  • Flamekebab@piefed.social
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    43 minutes ago

    Similarly I gave up trying to keep up with the ever evolving mail server requirements. I’d wake up to find my emails weren’t reaching people because Google and MS had strongarmed some change into place again.

    These days I just use inbox.eu for my email.

  • bizdelnick@lemmy.ml
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    1 hour ago

    I’d try Maddy if I were going to setup my personal email server now. But I already have postfix/dovecot/all-that-shit up and running for years.

    • Sonalder@lemmy.ml
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      2 hours ago

      Yes selfhosting it is awesome but it’s definitely not the simplest service to do host.

  • Shimitar@downonthestreet.eu
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    4 hours ago

    What is the problem? I have been self hosting my mail for the last 20+ years and has always worked pretty well.

    I rent a VPS for that since you should not use a residential address for email servers.

    If you are careful enough to configure it properly I assure you that it works and it’s perfectly usable and stable

    All my family primary email addresses are managed in that way on my various domains and we never had a single issue

    Today it’s even easier because there are all in one docker based solutions. But going the hard way is perfectly doable as well.

    Here is my experience, on my wiki, if you are interested https://wiki.gardiol.org/doku.php?id=email%3Astart

    Be aware that there are no optional steps: everything must be properly installed and setup from DNS entries to dkim/dmarc and certificates. But I promise, maintenance it basically zero after a proper setup. And I think twice in 20 years something broke. And the nice part of that email will just be delayed and delivered after you fix it, nothing gets ever lost

    I love email, with all it downfalls, it’s still one of the most resilient and solid stuff on the internet.

    • Brummbaer@pawb.social
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      4 hours ago

      Same here, I have been doing that for around 20 years now too and I started out with postfix and a list of vmails in a text file.

      I wonder where this myth comes from. People host way more out there stuff themselves, but somehow email is too scary …

      • Shimitar@downonthestreet.eu
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        1 hour ago

        Because 99% of helfhosters pull containers, with zero understanding of what they do. They they try email, because heck why not also email, and hit the wall of actually must understand what you are doing or else…

        Yes probably selfhosting email is for advanced users, people who at least know how to manage a DNS record and how nwtworking works. Maybe it’s just that selfhosting bar has dropped significantly thanks to docker, and indeed email hosting is a bit more complex that just “docker compose pull” approach.

        Yet i think people should not be scaring others so easily on email self hosting, it’s perfectly doable and fun to do. Maybe don’t switch your primary account just imediately to mitigate risks…

      • eutampieri@feddit.it
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        3 hours ago

        When you begin hosting you have to wait a bit before your email doesn’t go to spam, at least that was my experience in 2018.

        Edit: I just checked and I can now deliver to Hotmail/MS365 too!

      • Dave.@aussie.zone
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        2 hours ago

        There was a good guide by Linuxbabe on building an email server from scratch with all the bits and pieces and antispam/email verification stuff you need to send mail to the big players, I used it a few years ago to do my server.

        Here’s the collection of various guides for various ways to do it:

        https://www.linuxbabe.com/category/mail-server

        Yeah you also need a vps. Home addresses are pretty much all marked as spam generators these days, and most ISPs proactively block all the common inbound ports for mail servers.

      • Shimitar@downonthestreet.eu
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        4 hours ago

        That is a mandatory requirement for proper email delivery.

        Not an issue with email itself, more due to spam prevention and such.

        I flagree that hosting email servers on residential IPs is a recipe for being filtered and blocked

        • IsoKiero@sopuli.xyz
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          3 hours ago

          I flagree that hosting email servers on residential IPs is a recipe for being filtered and blocked

          Unless your ISP gives you a static address and agrees to change PTR record to your server address. Then it’s no different than any other server on the internet. Obviously odds are that you’re not getting one or if it’s an option they’ll likely charge more than VPS is going to cost you, but it’s not unheard of.

          But for the actual topic, I don’t get the myth either. I’ve got a good old postfix+dovecot setup running and the only problem I have is that spam filtering isn’t quite as good as with commercial providers, but the handful of trash coming trough is easy enough to take care of manually.

          • Shimitar@downonthestreet.eu
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            1 hour ago

            I fully agree with you.

            but i guess, from other replyies, people are just afraid somehow and have deep rooted fears about email and self hosting it. The people like you and me who have actually done it, understand that’s not that impossible.

            And like with anything you learn only doing it, not fearing it. Maybe don’t switch your main account just from day 0 and see how it goes… :)

    • Sonalder@lemmy.ml
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      2 hours ago

      Yep honestly paying for posteo (fully foss back-end) is worth it. Self-hosting email is on the hardest side, not impossible but require more time and knowledge than many other services.

    • bizdelnick@lemmy.ml
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      1 hour ago

      If it was painful for you, this does not mean nobody should even try. FMPOV my mailbox contains too much personal information to host in in the cloud.

    • Shimitar@downonthestreet.eu
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      4 hours ago

      Why people keep spreading this misinformation? It’s plainly not true and I am the living proof of that.

      Been using my email self hosted (on VPs) for decades now, never had serious issues at all. And it’s all my family primary addresses

      • zr0@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        1 hour ago

        One wrong config entry, and you have an open relay and a domain that can never be used for SMTP again, yay.

        Actually managing an email server properly is demanding, as it is one of the most attacked services. Of course, you can also take the easy route and just pray.

        • Shimitar@downonthestreet.eu
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          1 hour ago

          Sorry man, i understand your fears, but it’s not that difficult. Granted, you need to STUDY and UNDERSTAND what you do, it’s not just deploy a container and run. But hey, you can give up on learning new stuff and don’t run risks ever, in that case you should also stop driving a car, since it’s much more dangerous than running an open relay by error.

          Also, use mailcow stalwart or any other already packaged solution if you want to be safe.

          • zr0@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            1 hour ago

            I used mailcow, got an open relay immediately. Stalwart seems to do things a bit better.

            I host so many services and it is not that I don’t want to learn new stuff. The effort is simply too high for a single service. And since there are very good providers which fully encrypt your data, I went this route to keep my mind off this part of my system.

            • Shimitar@downonthestreet.eu
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              1 hour ago

              I fully understand your point, but the mailcow as open relay seems strange. Anyway, it’s a risk/cost tradeoff right? Everybody should do it’s own assessment and experimentation. But after the initial setup, it’s zero maintenance. The only maintenance i do is keep the stack regularly updated, and it broke twice in 20+ years (dovecot new config format, WTF…)

              • zr0@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                33 minutes ago

                I had long discussions with some mailcow contributors and it turns out, that some default settings can lead to an open relay if you are not careful. The biggest problem is that they use postfix. Postfix is not bad itself, as it is probably the most battle tested mail server. The configuration of postfix is a different story. And even if I prefer battle tested GNU/BSD software, postfix would be one of the rare exceptions where I would be careful.

                I had a postfix running for years without issues, when I self-hosted SimpleLogin, and I fully agree with you. Once it runs, you only need to make sure that the security is managed.

      • Korkki@lemmy.ml
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        2 hours ago

        I don’t say it’s impossible. It’s just not worth it 90% of the people, especially for beginners.

        • Shimitar@downonthestreet.eu
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          1 hour ago

          Never said it’s for beginners. It’s not.

          You must understand what you do and do it properly. IT’s not drop a container and run mindless. Regardless, you can do it if you take the proper precautions and have fun doing it.

      • x1gma@lemmy.world
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        2 hours ago

        Because it works for you, doesn’t mean it’s easy. If you have the experience, and done it at least once successfully, it’s “easy”. Compared to the average self-hosted configure and run a docker image and reverse proxy it’s objectively harder to run.

        The issue is not running the individual components or servers, but that there’s infrastructure and to some extent crypto involved, which is just outside of the comfort zone for many. You tried to host it like any other thing on your homelab? Nope. Has your VPS been involved in spam? Enjoy the blacklist you’ll never find out about and the debugging why it doesn’t work. No experience in managing your DNS? Have fun getting DMARC/DKIM/SPF to work.

        Theres just way more stuff that needs to be done, and a lot of it will fail silently.

        • Shimitar@downonthestreet.eu
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          1 hour ago

          I fully agree with you: it’s NOT easy. And you must understand what you do. It’s not just deploy a container and run happy.

          I might say this is the first serious step for a selfhoster, something that goes over and beyond just hosting a service for yourself and fun, since it federates (modern term fur how email works) with the outside world.

          Are you scared of hosting email? don’t do it. You want to learn and improve your skills and you are happy with running the risks associated? go for it.

          Anyway tools like stalwart and mailcow do provide full instructions for DKIM/DMARK and DNS records that you only need to follow, so today there are easier options than the “old days”.

          Anyway you don’t have to do it on your primary email from day one, just use a test account/domain and see how it goes. Keep using your gmail account and spin it up on a secondary domain, if it works good… switch over in 6 months or 2 years as you are confortable. OTherwise, keep gmail and stop.

      • webghost0101@sopuli.xyz
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        4 hours ago

        I think the general gist is as beginner self hosters we get more and more comfortable too “easily spin up a docker webserver”

        At some point we arrive at “what other services can i host” and email is a pretty obvious addition expecting it to at least not be more difficult then running nextcloud.

        It may be doable but hell is it not a comparable challenge.

        • Shimitar@downonthestreet.eu
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          4 hours ago

          I fully agree …

          Email server require to understand what and why you are doing. This is a steep step up from spinning docker containers.

          Nothing against docker containers, I run quite a few myself… But indeed a successful email server is a different beast.

          Many people also try self host it at home, and this is a serious issue with email due to the residential ip address as well.

          But it can be done successfully and it’s a great feeling of accomplishment when you do it. And you learn way more than using containers

          Also all containerized solutions for email require the understanding and additional steps like DNS done properly as well .

        • Shimitar@downonthestreet.eu
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          1 hour ago

          Isn’t that the gist of selfhosting?

          Yes you can do it, yes you can have it done for you by somebody else. The first is fun, and risky, the second is less fun and less risky. We are all here for the fun… and probably we all don’t care too much of the risks. But why shut down everybody who ask about email selfhosting with a don’t do it? Let them try, make errors and fix them, maybe they learn something new, maybe it works out for them

          What is the worst that might come out of it? Some spam? A blacklist? Come on, you can survive both. Don’t use your primary email account as self hosted from the beginning maybe, to mitigate all those risks, no?

    • dan@upvote.au
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      5 hours ago

      It’s not too bad if you use an outbound SMTP relay for sending. SMTP2Go is pretty good, and they have a free plan with 1000 emails per month. I use Mailcow and you can configure relays in their web UI, but it works just as well with the sender_dependent_relayhost_maps setting in Postfix.

      Sure, it’s not fully self-hosted, but the interesting part to self-host is the storage of your emails, not the sending (which will just relay through other SMTP servers along the way anyways).

  • uuj8za@piefed.social
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    6 hours ago

    Yeah, hosting your own email server is pretty tough.

    I think something like https://migadu.com/ might be more in the middle of hosting your own server and purely using someone else’s frontend.

    • Psaldorn@lemmy.world
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      I just switched to migadu and found it painless and easy, I also run an email server with mail-in-a-box, which is great.

    • altphoto@lemmy.todayOP
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      I gave their self-hosted version a go and got stuck with the gmail connection. For Auth2.0 they’ve built some new bullshit. I think I gotta create an app to pretend I’m a dev, then use that app and password to allow it on my security settings… Google is such a bunch of shit assholes. Fuck Google! With a splintered rusty corrugate hose. Assholes. Who is gonna do that? Nobody. It’s just a tiny bit more than whatever technical knowledge I’m willing to spend cells on. Nah, I’m done.

  • hperrin@lemmy.ca
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    6 hours ago

    This really saddens me. Email is such a fundamentally good and open protocol. The only reason people don’t like it is because of big tech’s shenanigans.

    I run an email service called Port87. I invite you to try it and see if it can convince you that email is actually a great technology, when detached from big tech slop. It’s got some really killer features that make it great for organization and preventing spam. You can also tell it that on certain addresses, it should completely ignore the strict auth requirements it usually has, so it will accept email from your own services without you having to set up all the extra bullshit that’s meant for stuff that matters more.

    • altphoto@lemmy.todayOP
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      4 hours ago

      I was told about this one but never actually tried it. I am more hellbent on setting up my own server so I never have to migrate from anywhere.

  • Rimu@piefed.social
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    7 hours ago

    Fair enough - I got it working recently but it was the hardest self-hosting install I’ve done. No way most people would succeed. Email is 50(?) years of questionable design decisions piled on top of each other so it’s become a whole world of weird stuff. Doing email should be it’s own tech specialty, like ‘devops’ or ‘db admin’ is. There’s enough depth to it.

    There are a ton of email providers who are not Google, though. e.g. https://proton.me/mail. You don’t need to run it on your own hardware.

    • korthrun@piefed.social
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      6 hours ago

      Doing email should be it’s own tech specialty, like ‘devops’ or ‘db admin’ is.

      It literally is, and has been for quite a while :D Enterprise level email admins make a pretty penny eheheh.

      • PancakesCantKillMe@lemmy.world
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        2 hours ago

        I remember working on sendmail back in the day. I had skills then, but mastering sendmail would elevate you to be the guru on the mountain. I struggled to the foothills and managed enough to maintain it, only scratching the surface. There was and is a lot there. The O’reilly sendmail book was the thickest of my collection and I might even still have it.

  • farmgineer@nord.pub
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    4 hours ago

    I used to run my own mailserver, but I haven’t in years now since it was so much of a pain. Not even the set-up part; that wasn’t the worst thing in the world. It’s uptime, back-ups, and other considerations that just require time and money I don’t have.

  • DecronymB
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    28 minutes ago

    Acronyms, initialisms, abbreviations, contractions, and other phrases which expand to something larger, that I’ve seen in this thread:

    Fewer Letters More Letters
    DNS Domain Name Service/System
    ISP Internet Service Provider
    SMTP Simple Mail Transfer Protocol
    TLS Transport Layer Security, supersedes SSL
    VPN Virtual Private Network
    VPS Virtual Private Server (opposed to shared hosting)

    [Thread #4 for this comm, first seen 8th Jun 2026, 05:50] [FAQ] [Full list] [Contact] [Source code]

  • MalReynolds@slrpnk.net
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    5 hours ago

    Just get a domain and point it at a provider. Now you’re not locked in and can switch at will upon enshittification. Get one of the offline mail archive services like OpenArchiver. Job done.

  • BCsven@lemmy.ca
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    6 hours ago

    Proton or Tuta mail. Supports aliasing so you can make unique email addresses per website, and trash them if you get spammed.

    Singing up for a paid account you also get VPN, drive storage, password manager, docs, sheets, AI chat (I know), calendar, meetings and authenticator.