I have, and am, selfhosting Matrix, and it isn’t that big of a deal if you’re someone that, you know , self hosts things. That is just outside of what most people can or are willing to do. That’s totally fine, but finding a FOSS platform that will host a VoIP/video server for you and not try to monetize you is almost certainly going to be rare or short lived.

This is spot on. Discord and Matrix are, IMO, quite different. Matrix is more like Slack or Teams. You can do voice and video calls, if you configure it to do so, but it isn’t like Discord in that regard at all. If you don’t use Discord for that and mostly just chat with your friends then sure, but you have a lot of choices in that case.

Why would I want add overheard and complexity to my system when I don’t need to? I can totally see legitimate use cases for docker, and work for purposes I use VMs constantly. I just don’t see a benefit to doing so at home.